Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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