hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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