I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
