I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
