OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
