yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
