I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
