They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
