You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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