dude i'm inner monologue high
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
