Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
