my mouth tastes like poor choices
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
