I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
