can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
