Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
