I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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