So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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