Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
