woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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