he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
