you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
