chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
