It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
