so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
