I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
third nipple confirmed
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
