Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Terrible idea I love it
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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