He asked to "fluff my boner.."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
