So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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