Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
