all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
