It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
