Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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