babies were throwing up all over the place
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
