Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
