FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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