how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
