i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
