shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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