the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
