you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Randomize
