i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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