he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
