If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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