You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
