At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
