Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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