Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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