Non-Jews are for practice
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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