do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
