He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
