he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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