I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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